He asked me if I "almost moaned"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
