Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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