Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
