how can u be prego again
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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