ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize