Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
