12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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