Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
