They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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