Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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