girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.