My hand turned me down
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well