does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...