So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
