Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
