What a fucking waste of an outfit
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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