I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
