I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize