My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
