HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
