So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize