piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
