Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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