had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
