i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Green mimosas i think yes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
