Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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