if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
