If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
