i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
