i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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