I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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