she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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