Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
