I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
