Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
