it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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