the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
