are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
