she was so not down for the gang bang
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
love makes seman taste better
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
40s are totally the cure
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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