they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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