So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
