Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
