i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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