Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize