I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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