So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
