I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
