i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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