My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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