Please, let me fuck your mom
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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