6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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