I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
