I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
