i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
