I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
