Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
