what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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