This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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