I puked a lego.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
