90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
