I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
