I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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