You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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