i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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